| It's weird that I was looking forward to being back in the States most of last year but now that I'm back all I notice is that i'm an outcast. I mean it shouldn't be a surprise considering I had a gf the first year which more or less impeded my ability to make friends (for reasons I won't get into) and second year I was simply in another country but its still a little disheartening. At the very least most of last year I had a friend in the states that was interested enough in talking with me that they would actually keep in contact. Leave it to me to somehow screw that up after coming back. My sleep schedule too is even worse than you can imagine. Maybe it's because my conscience is racked with guilt. Maybe it's because i'm filled with stress. Maybe I'm just dying. Who knows. All I really know is that the sleepless nights made a lot more sense when it was because I was having fun. It'd be nice if I could actually talk to someone about my frustrations, but I guess typing it into a blog that no one actually reads is a sort of consolation prize. My conclusion? it seems like this year in South Bend is going to be even lonelier than my year in London. P.S. For whatever reason I can't get the following sentence out of my head. "Good Grief, Charles Yu... you're such a blockhead." |
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| it's been a really hard start to my last year in law school. Everything was looking up just one week before it began but a single mistake seemed to start snowballing and nothing I could think of could stop it. Honestly though, I get it. I messed things up and these are the consequences. It's bad enough obviously that things are what they are now but it's a hundred times worse knowing that it's actually my fault. Everyday has just been more stressful than the last and there isn't really anything I can do about it any more. Maybe it's God, maybe it's Karma, but it seems something is hell bent on teaching me a lesson. I can only hope that this weight on me doesn't eventually crush me =/. 
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| I just turned in the last of my finals... It was a horrendous three days in which i wrote 90 pages and took a final... oh god I'm pretty sure i almost fell into a coma near the end. I closed my eyes for a second and apparently 10 minutes had passed. I felt really good after that though. I thought i'd celebrate a bit after... but instead I passed out and woke up the next day =/ now that summer has arrived i have different priorities... such as dicking around... shits and giggles... you know, the important stuff. |
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| I've been keeping it a secret and all but i've been working out like a madman to get back into shape. 
What do you think? i've been really focusing on the abs because I know how you ladies like abs. |
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